Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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