VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i think i just lost a toe
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
