its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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