I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
