He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
