too bad you live with your parents still
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i've created a new STD.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
