I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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