But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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