i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize