i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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