what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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