I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
