Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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