He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
