Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
