Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
