I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
