I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
