I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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