I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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