it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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