I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
do nipples grow back?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
