Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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