Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
