I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was confusing and full of hummus
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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