In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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