DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
