I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
