Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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