Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
