It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
where are you?
Hypothermia
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
