Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
