tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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