Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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