Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
