Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
