Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
