This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
