uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
