That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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