Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
