you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
