im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
