I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
