She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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