He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
