I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
