Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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