barbara walters just said penis...
I could make wine with my vomit
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
