the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We left the knife in your bed.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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