Three words: puerto rican gang bang
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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