No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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