It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
