I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
