They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize