I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
