Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
they're like a gay fantastic four
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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