no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
