i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and she was petting her beer can
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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