I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize