love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
