you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The uberlube is also flammable
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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