So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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